Master's Student.
It sounds so intimidating and daunting. When you think of a Master's student, you think of these full grown adults who are both dignified and confident.
Jokes for days.
As my soon-to-be Professor put it so elegantly, "We're all winging it and if you're not, you're lying."
I can't believe I thought 24 year old's had their shit together. I remember being a wee, little undergraduate walking by an experiment being conducted by one of the graduate students and thinking, "Wow, they look so smart." Meanwhile, they were staring at their buckets upon buckets of oysters, taking notes on subjects that most likely haven't had any significant change to their state of being in the last month, and probably wondering why the hell they chose oysters of all things to study. But despite their internal monologue, I was always so impressed with how smart they came off as and how it seemed like they were advancing science with just a distant look and a furrowed brow.
Little did I know that 3 years later, I would be sitting in a tropical paradise next to the Great Barrier Reef doing just that. Adulting (or at least trying to, the whole cooking part is still an elusive skillset I have yet to master). What I do know is just how easy it is to pretend you have your shit together when in reality, you're just as lost and clueless to your own life's path as Susan sitting next to you. No matter how many classes you took in college or how well you did, there will always be that fundamental question of "what's next?" What separates people is that single handed question. How you choose to continue or react to the opportunities presented to you is what makes you, you. There is no right and wrong as a whole, maybe just right and wrong for individuals. I chose to take a risk and continue my education, was that wrong? Maybe financially, but as a personal decision? It was necessary.
I'm still a little flabbergasted as to how I got here. Somehow, despite my last minute application submission and hasty arrangement of all the necessary paperwork, my transition from traveler to student has gone (suspiciously) smoothly. Nothing goes this smooth in my world. Ever. There's always some weird, crazy story attached to any adventure or plan.
For instance, one time a friend and I wanted a simple day out on the boat. Did that happen? No.
What did happen was two girls got stranded on the clear opposite side of a very large lake with zero reception, all because of a fried spark plug that we were unaware of. So what did we do? We ransacked the boat and found a pair of wooden water skis that we used to paddle with until we could get into service and call for a tow back to shore.
So back to the story, what's the catch? Nothing goes this smooth without some type of reparation for all of this cooperation. Like Newton's Third Law of Motion states, for every action in nature there is a reaction. Just like the avatar keeps balance with the four elements, I'm waiting for my balance to hit me when I least expect it.
I should probably be a little more optimistic but I feel like holding on to that little piece of cynicism and pessimism might save me down the road when the stress is pouring through my ears and I'm trying to keep my nose above the water level. Can't be blindsided if I'm constantly expecting it.
But for today only, I'll enjoy my new baby: my beautiful K-Mart bike that gets me from point A to B (a little sweatier than walking but worth the speed).
And on another note in regards to classes starting tomorrow? Holy crap. What am I getting myself into. On one hand, my masochistic side is like, "Yesss let's feel all of the emotions at once while stressed," but then my subconscious is more like a cornered animal in sheer panic mode like,"Bruh, did you forget undergrad that quick?!? Abort?!? While you still can?!?"
On that note, my landlord is taking us water skiing today so no thoughts of class will be thought of today. Until next time ( at least, I hope I keep this up ahah)
Current Status: Swimming happily (ish..for now)
